HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Now, then... I was chatting with a fellow Springer fan on AIM when Springer came on, so I asked if she'd like to participate in the notes... she said yes!
So here are tonight's Springer Notes, guest-starring Millie! ((Her website is HOLASCOPE.)) I am PeleStardust.
PeleStardust: JERRY JERRY JERRY...
PeleStardust: I'd like to be one of the people who carry the cords around for the camera guys...
PeleStardust: "Shocking Stories"
PeleStardust: Jerry's in all black. He looks good all in black:)
PeleStardust: Jerry: [shaking peoples' hands] Thank you, thank you... ah, well, that's all the time we have for tonight, goodbye. Audience: [laughs]
PeleStardust: EWwwwww, it's Taralisa!!
kottori: who's taralisa?!?!?
PeleStardust: Oh I can't stand her...
PeleStardust: She has sex with food.
kottori: ohhh i know who she is?
PeleStardust: SpringerCam, Taralisa's in this grocery store putting meat all over herself... and something green.
kottori: she looks like a lesbo!
PeleStardust: She seems fake. Her face is totally emotionless...
kottori: TARALISA IS A DYKE
PeleStardust: Hey, don't insult dykes, Taralisa's disgusting;)
PeleStardust: SpringerCam, Taralisa: [grabbing peoples' ankles] OHHHHH! HAVE SEX WITH MEEEE!
PeleStardust: SpringerCam, Guy: You are disgusting, I *will not* have sex with you!
kottori: errrr, a lil horny eh?
PeleStardust: She's iiiicky!
PeleStardust: The grocery store manager is calling the police;)
kottori: no doubt
kottori: is she all covered in food?
PeleStardust: Yes. Ewww.
PeleStardust: Back on stage now... she just threw her wig at the audience.
kottori: damn, i can't believe im missing this
PeleStardust: Jerry: Why did you do that? Taralisa: Huh? Jerry: Why did you do that? Taralisa: Why, why, why? Why did I do that? Because, because... I have, have a fffetish.
PeleStardust: When is Springer on there?
kottori: the taralisa's fetish sucks
PeleStardust: A guy in the audience is hiding behind his hands;)
PeleStardust: ::grins and nods, echoing:: Taralisa's fetish sucks...
kottori: at 12m
kottori: i would just hide
kottori: run if i could
PeleStardust: Hehe. Run backstage and apply for a job to carry the cords around.
kottori: yes, yes-yes indeed
kottori: get away from taralisa
kottori: but why is taralisa there? why is her story shocking?
kottori: its disgusting
PeleStardust: There's a commercial on for one of those... learn-by-mail places... private investigator and veterinary assistant and such. I should call them and ask why they don't offer degrees in mortuary science.
PeleStardust: She's gonna tell her husband. He'll probably be shocked;)
PeleStardust: Taralisa's better than the guy who likes to throw up on his partner, though:\
kottori: she's married?
kottori: i saw that one too
PeleStardust: Well, boyfriend maybe. I didn't catch which one Jerry said. He'll say again...
kottori: taralisa was on an island show was she?
PeleStardust: Yeah, she was.
PeleStardust: She tried to have sex with cooked lobsters.
PeleStardust: She kept saying, "Looobsterrrr, have seeex with meeee!!"
kottori: yeah she had something with the poor chickens too
kottori: poor lil animals they get killed t end up with her
PeleStardust: Jerry: Welcome back, we've been talking with Taralisa, here... even on our show, Taralisa pushes the limits...
PeleStardust: Ah, he's a boyfriend.
PeleStardust: She says she started when she was 16, with bananananas.
kottori: ooo ok
PeleStardust: (I added the extra nananana's;)
kottori: its still disgusting to think what she did with em o_O
PeleStardust: Neil is the boyfriend. Guys named Neil shouldn't have to deal with Taralisa.
kottori: no guy should deal with her
PeleStardust: Taralisa: I couldn't tell you at home cos I knew you'd freak out. Neil: So you brought me to Jerry Springer to tell me!
PeleStardust: Yeah, poor guys.
kottori: taralisa's true love are the bananananas
PeleStardust: ::laughs:: Yeah, she should stick to the food and leave the poor guys alone.
kottori: yeah most defitnely
PeleStardust: She should find another food fetishist and leave poor Neil alone.
kottori: yeah stick to the bananananas
PeleStardust: What? Why is Neil defending her against the audience??
PeleStardust: Neil must've told the audience to go home. Jerry said, "In fairness, they paid a lot of money for these tickets..." ;) The tickets are free;)
kottori: errr, he's in co-hoots with her
kottori: lmao hahaha
kottori: jerry! jerry! jerry!
PeleStardust: Ewwwwwwww... she took off her dress and she's got meat duct-taped to her... all over her body...
PeleStardust: ::laughs:: She's chasing Todd. Someone save Todd!
PeleStardust: Yeah! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
kottori: oh my
PeleStardust: ::laughs hysterically at the blog's tracker:: Someone got here with the search string "I Kissed my Aunt's Feet"... http://google.yahoo.com/bin/query?p=I+Kissed+my+Aunt%27s+Feet&hc=0&hs=0
PeleStardust: Heyyy, someone searched "jerry springer notes"! Rockon! http://search.yahoo.com/bin/search?p=jerry+springer+notes
kottori: thats a good excuse to get into springer ya know?
PeleStardust: ::gigglers:: Yeah:>
PeleStardust: I wonder if I could get on by telling them I'm the Springer Notes Girl;)
kottori: your extra famous!
PeleStardust: They could do a show about the people who maintain Springer sites... show their favourite clips. They did that once with their assistant producers.
kottori: you can write to jerry about it!
PeleStardust: I should! Hmm. I think I will. At the next commercial.
PeleStardust: [---story change, thank god---]
PeleStardust: Genia? Kenia? Some such name.
PeleStardust: She thinks her bf is sleeping with her best friend.
kottori: i can see she has alot of trust in him ...
PeleStardust: Ah, her name is Kennia.
PeleStardust: ::laughs and quotes Jerry:: "There's no trust on the Springer show!"
kottori: how's that pronounced?
PeleStardust: Tyree, the bf.
PeleStardust: Tiffany, the best friend.
PeleStardust: Tyree says he *is* sleeping with Tiffany. Of course.
kottori: she's of color isin't she?
kottori: guessed it
PeleStardust: Ha! Kennia: You wanna be with me? Tyree: Yes. Kennia: I tell you what, if you wanna be with me, get on your knees and BEG!
PeleStardust: He's doing it! Hehehe.
kottori: wait a min! thats not shocking!
PeleStardust: She's making him crawl to her;)
kottori: yeeeeees revenge!
PeleStardust: Kennia: I wanna hear you bark like a dog! Tyree: [barks really stupidly] Kennia: [makes a face] Bark! Bark! Tyree: [barks better]
PeleStardust: She's making him pray to God to take him back:p
kottori: lol, that is pathetic
kottori: poor guy
PeleStardust: Richard! Richard's sitting back at his brick thing, he's so so so cool. ::hugs Richard::
PeleStardust: The audience made Tyree lick Kennia's feet;)
PeleStardust: Why would he want her back if she's making him do all that?
kottori: richard ain;t making sounds?
PeleStardust: Ha, now she's not even taking him back.
kottori: yea! thats what i like to see
PeleStardust: I'd ask Richard to let me make the sounds:)
kottori: (hey, he cheated on her)
PeleStardust: Now here's the best friend, Tiffany. She and Kennia are screaming at eachother.
PeleStardust: Tiffany: [to Tyree] You wanna be with me! Tyree: No I don't! Tiffany: You wanna be with me! Tyree: NO I DON'T!
PeleStardust: They didn't fight:( Just yelled.
kottori: i hate it when they get persistant
PeleStardust: There have already been 88 hits to the blog, today. In the past two and a half hours.
PeleStardust: ::runs to jerryspringer.com and wonders how she should pitch the story to them::
kottori: 88 hits? i don't get that in a month!
PeleStardust: I wonder how many of the 88 actually stayed and read something...
PeleStardust: Put 'jerry springer' as a search string on your page, it might work;)
kottori: i was one :)
kottori: i was there awhile ago
kottori: lol okay
PeleStardust: Thank you:)
PeleStardust: [---story change---]
PeleStardust: Rene is is sleeping with her brother.
PeleStardust: Audience is not happy...
PeleStardust: Audience: INCEST WHORE INCEST WHORE INCEST WHORE!
kottori: yea right!
kottori: hehehehe. the audience rocks
PeleStardust: Jerry: I suppose you have a good reason for this? Rene: He's always been there for me... Jerry: Well, good! That makes him a good brother, you don't *screw* him!
PeleStardust: Jerry: You're not supposed to sleep with a blood relative! Rene: Well, Jerry, that's your own opinion...
PeleStardust: ::nods:: The audience rocks:)
kottori: jerry is always trying to put some reason into his guests ....
kottori: oh jerry!
PeleStardust: It never works;)
kottori: lol, yea
PeleStardust: Rene's slutty-looking cousin... Raquel, I think Jerry said, is yelling at Rene.
PeleStardust: ::yells at Raquel:: Hey! Kentucky isn't a hot-seat of incest! Ew.
PeleStardust: Well really:p I don't know any people who are sleeping with family members:p
PeleStardust: Here's the brother... I didn't catch his name.
kottori: thats rerally sick to sleep with one's brother
PeleStardust: Jerry: [to the brother] You realize you just ruined your life, by telling the world you're sleeping with your sister?
kottori: he hasn't ruined his life!
kottori: jerry is being a drama-king
PeleStardust: Jerry can be a drama qu--er, king... if he wants;)
PeleStardust: He's Jerry! :)
kottori: jerry is god
PeleStardust: [---story change---]
PeleStardust: Emily has kickass mouse-ear hair.
kottori: whats mouse-ear hair?
PeleStardust: Her hair's styled in two little buns, they look like mouse-ears;)
kottori: i know what you mean
PeleStardust: She's been cheating on her bf and wants to break it off with the other guy.
PeleStardust: Yeah:) I like that hair.
kottori: .... that ain't shocking either ... >_<
PeleStardust: Marc, the bf.
PeleStardust: B, the other guy.
kottori: marc ? my bf is named mark !
PeleStardust: ::bursts out laughing:: B and Marc are sleeping together!
kottori: what a disgrace!
PeleStardust: At least your bf isn't silly enough to spell his name with a C;)
kottori: o_O THAT IS SHOCKING
kottori: yes, thank you
PeleStardust: Aww, poor Emily. She can come home with me.
kottori: how did mouse-ear girl took it?
PeleStardust: She's shocked;)
kottori: thats a shocker
PeleStardust: Audience: THREE WHORES THREE WHORES THREE WHORES!
PeleStardust: ::peers at what she's trying to write to send to the Springer fanmail thing:: Okay, how's this sound?
Jerry Springer Show People--
I maintain the Jerry Springer Show Notes [http:jerryspringer.blogspot.com].
I have an idea for a show--a clip show, like the Steve's Corner episode of the assistant producers' favourite clips...
You should do that with people who maintain major fan sites! It'd be lots of fun.
PeleStardust: Er, "http://"
kottori: thats sounds nice, short and straight to the point
PeleStardust: Thanks:) Okee, I'll send it.
PeleStardust: ::rolls her eyes at Taralisa:: Oh, sit *down.*
kottori: lol, she's still around?
PeleStardust: Dave's holding one of her steaks;p
PeleStardust: Yeah, for the question & answer.
PeleStardust: Audience woman: Thank god for Prozac.
PeleStardust: Taralisa says she's an artist:p
kottori: having sex with food on tv should be made ilegal or something
PeleStardust: Taralisa: I've studied psychology, I know about Sigmund Freud! Jerry: Yeah, he was on our show Thursday!
PeleStardust: She's throwing her meat into the audience:p
PeleStardust: Yeah, it should. Ew.
kottori: ewwww, poor audience people!
PeleStardust: Jerry: [points at a piece of meat on the floor] One of your sex toys is here...
kottori: jerry! jerry! jerry!
PeleStardust: Audience woman: [to Taralisa] If you throw any more meat out here, I'm gonna come up there and tenderize you.
PeleStardust: Audience: SIT DOWN WHORE SIT DOWN WHORE SIT DOWN WHORE! Taralisa: NO, I'M A BITCH, THAT'S WHAT I AM!
kottori: hehehehe! that just proves once again, the audience rocks
PeleStardust: ::grins:: The audience is very cool.
kottori: shes not a whore or a btich, she's a freak!
PeleStardust: She's a food slut! Heheheh.
PeleStardust: A food freak slut!
kottori: hahaha! she gives me the creeps
PeleStardust: Me too.
PeleStardust: I wonder why the blog gets the most hits on Tuesday.
PeleStardust: [---Final Thought---]
PeleStardust: On Tuesdays, rather. Plural Tuesdays.
PeleStardust: Jerry: None of us are exactly the same in front of everybody.
PeleStardust: "Till next time, take care of yourself... aand eachother."
PeleStardust: [---Dave walking down hall with Taralisa---]
kottori: poor dave
PeleStardust: He was hitting on her;p
kottori: oh my
PeleStardust: Thus ends tonight's notes. Hehe.