Friday, December 28, 2001

Ah! Merry Christmas! Late Christmas.

My feet are really cold. I know none of you care, but it's my blog and I feel like mentioning it. Hehe.

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JERRY JERRY JERRY...

"I Stole My Daughter's Man"

((Me: "I stole my daughter's man." Lyn, my mom: Congradulations.))

::boggles:: Jerry just told the whole story--this woman is sleeping with her 16 year old daughter's 29 year old bf, and she's done this three times before. And he's sleeping with *another* family member.

His name is Shakawn?

Really bad quality SpringerCam... could this be a rather old episode?

SpringerCam, Her: You know you got sauce on your hands, lemme get it off... Shakawn: [annoyed] No, that's okay...

Daphne, her.

Audience: WHORE! Daphne: Slut!
((Ah! Finally. Yes--a whore gets paid, a slut doesn't.))

Jerry's hiding in the audience because Daphne's running around naked.

Audience: KISS STEVE'S HEAD!
((Lyn: Give Steve head?! Me: [eyes go wide] *Kiss Steve's head.* Lyn: Oh! [puts face in hands]))

"CamMate", says the big thing the overhead camera is on.

There's a can opener being advertised between segments. A Three Stooges can opener. It talks. Lyn looked at me with this look that Scully gives Mulder. That unbelieving look. I giggled and said, "I love people."

Daphne: [flashes the audience] Jerry: Yeah, alright, we've seen them, we've seen them.

Wendy, the daughter.

Daphne: I got it, she don't! Jerry: Well stop it! This is your daughter!

Oh. He's called Jakwan.

Jakwan says he was drunk when he slept with Daphne.

He says he was drunk. And he was bored.

Jakwan is also sleeping with Debra, Daphne's twin sister.

Audience: TWIN WHORES TWIN WHORES TWIN WHORES!

Aww. Jerry: [to Wendy] You gotta get outta this family.

Jerry: I gotta be honest with you, the only person I'm caring about right now is the daughter.

[---story change---]

Someone whose name I didn't catch because my dogs were barking is bisexual and the audience loves her.

Ah, she is Jenna.

Jenna looks like a cross between Helena Bonham-Carter and... either Jodie Foster or Jennifer Jason Leigh.

Her husband is a Springer fan, so he knows something's up.

Chris, him.

Here's the gf. Jenna took off her shirt, the gf's shirt.

Chris: [to the gf] What's up, huh, you gonna lick your way into heaven?
((What?!))

Well... well that was short...

[---Q&A---]

Audience guy: This is to the two ton twins... when did they start selling laundry at Moo & Oink?

An audience woman says Daphne is a disgrace "to all motherhoods everywhere."

[---Final Thought---]

"Till next time, take care of yourselves, and eachother."

[---Steve walking down hall with twins, one on each arm---]