Friday, December 21, 2001

JERRY JERRY JERRY...

"A Man and His Food: A Love Story" I've seen this one.

Thursday, December 20, 2001

I've added a poll--you'll find it being rather obnoxiously obvious under the links.

Maybe if people answer the poll, I'll make new polls every once in a while...
JERRY JERRY JERRY...


Desiree has some shocking news for the father of her baby.

Ha, she's pregnant by a transsexual...

Ah, the name of the episode is "Pregnant by a Transsexual"...

Tony, the bf.

"It's not yours. Get over it!" Desiree:p

Marcy, the transsexual. She's going after Steve;)

Desiree says Marcy is nothing and not important and doesn't know who she is. Meh:(

Tony: You should just cut it off and sell it to women! Jerry: [runs out from the back of the stage, toward the audience] WAIT! That's a *great* idea for a show!!

Audience women in a Springer Security shirt is yelling at Desiree. Desiree: Come up on this stage! Richard: [fighting bell noise]

[---story change---]

Jerry: Faith says her baby is her money-maker.

Faith strips.

She's stripping onstage, to the "You're halfway to hell..." song;)

James, the boyfriend. He looks so insanely angry.

James: YOU'RE STUPID! [to audience] DOESN'T SHE LOOK STUPID DOIN' THIS STUFF?! Audience: STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID!

::laughs hysterically:: Now James is stripping to the music, saying he'd strip if Faith would stop. Jerry's laughing...

[---story change---]

Jerry: Sally says she's not giving up her lifestyle just because she's pregnant.

She says she's not gonna stop drinking.

She's wearing a lot of glitter on her face.

Shawn, the bf.

She's cheating on Shawn with her step mom... ::blinkblink::

Audience: THREESOME WITH JIMMY THREESOME WITH JIMMY! Sally & the step mom: [sit on Jimmy, hug him, kiss him] Jimmy: [starts gagging and coughing, the way he does when he's gonna be sick] Audience: JIMMY JIMMY JIMMY!
((Poor Jimmy...))

He went backstage and got sick... poor Jimmy, how does he deal with being a cop?

[---story change---]

Jerry: Al says he's fed up with his girlfriend's lies.

Marie, the gf.

Marie: I'm three months pregnant. Al: [smiles] That's... good. [frowns] But this ain't Oprah...

Marie's been whoring for the past six months, she doesn't know if Al is the father, or 200 other people.

Jerry: Do you love him enough to stop doing what you're doing? Marie: Yes I do. Jerry: [starts to speak; stops, surprised] Oh, you do...

Al: What if it is my kid?! It's head's gonna come out lookin' like a golf ball! Jerry: [sorta giggles] Like a *golfball?* We'll back... [signals for break]

[---Q&A---]

Marcy says she's a professional hairstylist and make-up artist. Someone in the audience yelled 'YOU'RE FIRED!':>

Audience guy: [to Marie] My friend's birthday is comin' up and he wants to know if he can knock some more dents in your kid's head for free.

[---Final Thought---]

"Take care of yourself, aaand eachother."

[---Jimmy walking down hall with Sally---]

He's carrying his bucket and sounding rather sick.

Poor Jimmy.

Tuesday, December 18, 2001

While waiting for blogger to stop telling me that publishing is temporarily unavailable, I read Notes from the Asylum. I was sufficiently frightened by the nightmare about the subway and total destruction, but I am more than awed by the description of the cinema. I can't believe there's a cinema today that would play Nosferatu *with the score by a live band.* I am... I am in total awe. I am reminded how much I dislike the town in which I live, but I am uplifted by the thought that some day, I will find such a cinema and I will give it all my money.

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I played with the Blood Alcohol Calculator during the commercials.

This site now has 12324 hits--wow:) Hey, I'd like to see it when it says 12345... if anyone sees it and gets a screenshot, please sent it to mistacat@london.com, please.

Someone found this blog through a Netscape search for duffle bags:p

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JERRY JERRY JERRY...

"Jerry's Family Hour II"

((I also have notes for the Family Hour I.))

Jerry: It's time for deceit, trickery, and lies on Jerry's Family Hour! Audience: JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY! Jerry: How can you not love this country?

Marie is extremely close to her daughter.

Eww, she's here to tell her bf she's sleeping with her own daughter.

Jerry: I asked, what're you doin? You said "I'm sleeping with my daughter" and then you took your clothes off. What has that got to do...? Marie: Oh, I can't help it. Jerry: [very long pause] You can't help taking your clothes off or you can't help sleeping with your daughter?

Jerry: It's your daughter... when your daughter was born did you go 'whoaa, whatta babe!'?

Marie: [to her bf] I don't care about money, I just want love, and you're not givin' it to me! She is! Jerry: Thank god you don't have a dog... Audience: [barks insanely] Marie: Oh, shut up!

The bf: What kind of bad mother are you??

The bf: You're whoring out to your daughter, now?! Marie: Oh, whores charge for it, I give it away for free! Audience: GIVE IT TO JERRY GIVE IT TO JERRY GIVE IT TO JERRY! Marie: You all need to shut up!!

Missy, the daughter.

Marie: [to the screaming audience] You all need to shut up! Jerry: [to Marie] In fairness, these people paid a lot of money to be here.
((And no one contradicted him, heh...))

Jerry: [sits down] Talk to eachother. Marie & Missy: I love you. [start kissing and hugging] Jerry: Not that!!

The bf: You know what?! You're not the boss o' me anymore!
((What?? Is he five years old?))

[---story change---]

Anita is sleeping with her son-in-law.

Anita: I'm tired of keeping it a secret. Jerry: Aren't you worried this is gonna hurt your daughter? Anita: No. Jerry: Don't you love your daughter? Anita: No. Jerry: [pause] You don't love your daughter? Anita: No. Cos she's a *bitch.*

Jerry: What did you do wrong in raising her that made her a bitch? Anita: I didn't do anything wrong in raising her! Some kids just turn out wrong.
((::blinkblink::))

Jerry's wearing kickass shoes:)

Brenda, the daughter.

They need to clean one of the stage cameras--it's reflecting the lights more than it should be...

James, the son-in-law.

Anita: [yelling at the audience] Jerry: [ignoring her, talking to Brenda] You're--you're done with him? Okay, we're outta here. [signals for break]

[---story change---]

Sabrina is four months pregnant with twins, and just found out her cousin is pregnant by her bf.

She's sobbing.

Rhonda, the cousin.

Rhonda says she didn't know Rick was with Sabrina.

There's a woman in the audience wearing a red muscle shirt with silver lips printed on it--I have one just like it, given to me by a friend for my last birthday... heh. She has the bright red wildly frizzy hair I'd like to have, too.

Rhonda keeps saying "I'm 33, she 26." I think this is the real problem here. Rhonda's jealous of the age thing.

Rick says he didn't know Rhonda was Sabrina's cousin.

Rhonda: I got his baby in my stomach!
((::wince:: Did she eat it? Eww. Even Dr. Lecter leaves children alone.))

[---Q&A---]

The one with the shirt just flashed Marie;> The girl she's with has the same hair and a labret barbell...

An audience girl kissed Marie's ex-bf:) Now she's hugging Jerry. Her name is either Carrie or Terri, she didn't say it very clearly. Jerry: We'll be back with [her name]!

[---Final Thought---]

::laughs:: The camera guy zoomed in too far and cut off the top of Jerry's head, then there was a jerk as the camera was moved to include his whole head...

"Till next time, take care of yourself, aaand eachother."

[---Steve walking down hall with Marie---]

Steve's all for the girl-girl thing, but not mother and daughter.