Saturday, December 08, 2001

Something's wrong with my email, so my current email address is mistacat@london.com.

A bloopers show earlier had a blooper from early Springer--before this incarnation of the stage. A guy was moving his chair around and managed to fall off the back of the then-stage;)

---------

JERRY JERRY JERRY...

"Wedding Wars"

Jerry: Angie's simple church wedding when our cameras showed up.

She decided she can't talk about it, and walked off stage.

SpringerCam, at the church. A guy burst in and said the bride is sleeping with her sister.

SpringerCam, the groom is wearing sunglasses. On his head.

SpringerCam, their father: Girls? Is this true? Them: Yes, sir, it is. Him: You will go to hell for that, girls!

Adam, the guy who burst into the wedding.

Rev what's his face is in the audience.

Adam is the sister's gf.

Audience & Adam: INCEST WHORE INCEST WHORE INCEST WHORE! Jerry: Not on our show!

Jacklyn, the sister. She told Adam so that he would break up the wedding, so Angie wouldn't marry the guy.

Angie: Our relationship is TERMINATED!

Angie's ex is screaming so loud he's starting to sound like Courtney Cox.

Him: YOUR OWN SISTER! YOUR *YOUNGER* SISTER!
((Umm... would it make any difference if she was her older sister?))

::blinks:: Angie said "dagblamed"...

Jerry: [to the audience; mocking the guests' accents] Y'all jes' pipe down!

Adam: [to Angie] I can smell it!
(("I see. I myself cannot." Cool points if you get the reference.))

[---story change---]

Joe says he's torn between two brides.

Joe: I've been trying to get Miranda, my girlfriend, to marry me for a year now, and she kept puttin' me off, puttin' me off... so I found myself someone else to marry. Jerry: And you had to get married... the year was almost up...

Mary, the new gf. The way they weren't saying "she" at all, I figured it would be a guy...

Miranda: Whore! Jerry: [about Mary] She can't be a whore, she's dressed in white!

Rev Brooks.

Food fight:p

Jerry: If you've just joined us, we're in the middle of what appears to be a wedding ceremony...

Whoa. Suddenly a woman is onstage, telling Joe that she is Linda and she is Mary's lover.

Mary: I love him! Linda: You told me you love me!! Joe: YOU LOVE ME?? SO WHEN THE HELL WAS YOU GONNA TELL ME ABOUT THIS?!

Linda looks like a cross between Melissa Etheridge and whoever plays Margo Hughes on As the World Turns. In the face.

Food fight again. Dave got hit in the face with a pie plate, he got the coolest angry look on his face.

One of the stage cameras has food on it...

[---Q&A---]

They're playing the hotter than hell song, and Jerry's singing along;)

Irish audience guy. Wearing a bright orange 5.

Audience woman with an accent *almost* as thick as the ones in Fargo. Richard made the boing sound at her.

Audience woman: [to Angie] You been sleepin' witchyer sister, and thass how long it's gonna take you to burn in hell, you bitch slut!

[---Final Thought---]

The overhead camera thing is wearing a wedding veil;)

"Till next time, take care of yourself, and eachother."

[---Steve walking down hall with Angie---]

Angie says she'll never sleep with her sister anymore.

Steve doesn't understand how it even gets to the point where siblings sleep together.

Steve: I'm all for it, two women can be together, y'know, I'm all for it...

Thursday, December 06, 2001

Any dieners or funeral home assistants out there? I need some info on what training you had before you got the job, and how you got the job, and such. And some general advice:) My ultimate goal is to be a diener, to support myself while I try to make it as the next Andy Warhol.

---------

JERRY JERRY JERRY...

"Steve to the Rescue III", ooooooo, this'll be great:)

Mary's daughter is 7 1/2 months pregnant and is prostituting herself.

SpringerCam, Mary's wearing a type of very large hair clip that's kinda hard to find (I broke my first one and spent a lot of time looking for more; ended up buying three, in case the next one broke too...)

SpringerCam, the daughter: I AM A WHORE! SAY IT! I AM A WHORE! Mary: [sobbing] I won't! I don't care!

SpringerCam, Steve: Jodie, get outta there. [gets the daughter out of a truck, and starts yelling at the john]

SpringerCam, now he's lecturing the daughter... she wants the $50.

SpringerCam, Steve: You're goin' back to Chicago, and you're gonna talk to Jerry and your mom, and you got no choice, you're goin' even if I have to *drag* your ass there!

Jodie, the daughter. Well, obviously.

Jerry got Jodie to say she'd stop until the baby is born.

[---story change---]

Mike says his relationship is bugging him.

Jerry: Well, why don't you have a job? Mike: I'm unemployed. Jerry: I--I know that. Audience: [laughs] Jerry: I've noticed that, most people who are out of a job are unemployed.

SpringerCam, I won't even describe the fridge his gf is making eat out of. My mother an I have cleaned wayyy too many of them when people move out of our trailers.

SpringerCam, she's making him pour soup on his head and rub it in his face.

SpringerCam, she's making him eat cockroaches in his soap. Live ones.

Jerry: Why... would you stay with... Mike: Where else would I go?

They sent Dave instead of Steve.

::laughs hysterically:: Promo. Dave: [starts to speak] Her: Bark like a dog! Dave: Woof, now listen--

The gf: They didn't send Steve down? Dave: No... Steve's a little busy savin' the world right now...

Her: Yer no Steve! On yer knees, bitch!

She put Dave and Mike in a shed...

Jerry: Dave? Dave: Yes, Jerry? Jerry: I know Steve. Steve's a friend of mine. You're no Steve.

Jerry: Have you ever treated a man nicely? Her: No. Jerry: Do you mind if I stay for the rest of the show? Her: [long pause] It's your show.

[---Q&A---]

An audience guy asked Jerry to give his mother, who always watches the soap operas, a hug, so Jerry did. It was very cute:)

Audience guy: This for the 18 wheeler slut--since you makin' all that money for clothes, where your shoes at?

::laughs:: An audience woman made Dave her bitch;) He kissed her feet. Steve is in hysterics.

[---Final Thought---]

"Take care of yourself, aaand eachother."

[---Dave and the bitch bug woman walking down the hall---]

He's still being her bitch. She wants him to do her dishes.

Sunday, December 02, 2001

I suddenly realized that despite my guestbook service not emailing me, people must be signing the gbook. So I checked, and found this entry:

"10/20/01 1:16:50 AM
Name: : Dresden VonClare
E-mail: : Dresden00@aol.com
How did you find this site? : Google search
Your comment: : I can't believe there are no web sites with CoCo Lennon's picture on it."

I'm flattered that someone must have done a websearch for pictures of me... you can find plenty of pictures of me by looking around my personal website, if you want. The most recent photo is here.

I haven't heard back from Sunshine--rather disappointed about that.

Big thanks goes out to Jennifer, the first person to sign my guestbook, who signed it again on 10/25:)

I am *so* jealous of the person who signed the guestbook saying that Jerry is in Rocky Horror on B'way... so very jealous. What's Jerry doing? Someone could start a thread on the message board about it, if they like, hint hint.

Responding to the person who commented "In my views of watching the show i think some of it realy un real. where does he come up with these unstable and sick people" in the gbook--Jerry doesn't find them. And such people do exist. I'll tell about the residents of the trailer park my parents own, if you like.

This is from the message board:

"My aunt was on Jerry a few years back
Posted by Becky arnold on 11/1/2001, 3:35 pm
208.54.199.251

I am the niece of the lady who was on Jerry Springer sometime in the 90's. I never got to meet the Aunt because i was not raised around my father. Having just met my father I was wanting to see what my aunt was like. I believe the show was called the Fatest Woman in America. She was a very large woman who had to be cut out of her house. If any one has a tape of this show or the follow-up with her daughter and sister-in -law (dad's wife} I would be interested in buying a copy. I can't remember my aunt's name but my dad's wife's name is Pam. You can contact me by emailing me at krazycatladee@yahoo.com. Thank You. My family would really appericate it.

my Aunt was on Jerry
Posted by Becky Arnold on 11/5/2001, 10:51 pm
216.40.160.207

Ok, My aunt's name was Carol Yager. Her and her daughter were on the show. The show has been re-aired several times. I would still like a copy of the show. If there is anybody with a copy I will be willing to pay for a copy. thank you."

I hope someone can help Becky out!

I now have 10,341 hits, getting around 1,050 hits a week! Very, very cool. Thanks to everybody:):)

dreamwalk links to here, in case I haven't said before...

Search strings leading here:

"jerry springer hidden camera"

"listen to live police scanners"

"shelly long"

"suck sperm"

"sandra whore"

"take notes in american highschool"

Something I find particularly funny is that this blog has 19 hits originating at .gov (US government)...

The two from .ru (Russian Federation) amuse me, too.

It's four hours into December 2, and I've already had 250 hits for this month. Heheh.

My neck hurts and I'm hungry and sleepy, goodnight.
JERRY JERRY JERRY...

A guy. "Got our own trailer goin' on." ::blinkblink::

He's been cheating on his gf, whose name is, apparently, Rachael.

Him: Knock on the door, it was Rachael and the Jerry Springer Camera... Jerry: If you think about it, that's not a very happy circumstance.

Bah, I've seen this one... his wife didn't come on the show, so there isn't really much of a segment.

Ohhh, it's the one with the argument about Viagra and the cat...

::gigglers at Jerry:: "That's usually where I stand, so I don't get hurt..." Way up in the back row of the audience.

Audience guy: [really, really loud] YOU SUCK! Freaky wife woman who hit Steve: Yeah! What he said!

http://www.cosmiverse.com/paranormal11160103.html -- not Springer news, but I read it instead of paying much attention to the Q&A. Don't read it if can't handle Lecteresque thoughts.