Friday, November 16, 2001

JERRY JERRY JERRY...

"Evil Confessions", heheh, this oughtta be fun.

The Imperial Wizard of the North somethingorother KKK... I remember this one... he's with them via satellite, because he's on his deathbed.

"Let me tell you something, Jerry Springer, you Jew bastard..." Grrrrr.

He's on to tell his niece who he is, this KKK guy.

KKK guy: [of his niece, who is dating a black man] I hate her damn guts.

KKK guy: [lighting a cigarette] That's how tough I am, you Jew bastard. Jerry: You can call me Jerry. KKK guy: I call you [beep; kyke].
((He's holding the cigarette very femininely, for note.))

Micky, the niece.

Imperial Wizard of the North Georgia White something...

KKK guy: [to Micky] And I assure you that when I die, my hate for you will not die, because you will be hated from now on!

KKK guy: ...you Jew bastard! Micky: [crying] You don't need to insult him-- Jerry: Oh, let'im. Micky: [sobbing] He's not even part of this...

Jerry: Do me a favour, take a couple more puffs on that cigarette...

Don, the KKK guy.

Omar, Micky's bf. He has a lumpy head.

Jerry: Don, has any sane person ever loved you? Don: Yeah, your wife, Jerry! You Jew bastard. Audience: THREESOME THREESOME THREESOME! Jerry: [boggles at them]

Don: Shut up! Jew bastard... Jerry: [annoyed] Oh, *stop.*

Jerry: I gotta wrap this up-- Don: Shut up, you Jew bastard.

[---story change, thank goodness---]

Mike says his marriage is in the toilet.

He and his wife haven't had sex for three years. Because his wife smells bad. Cos she won't take a shower.

Wife comes out. Audience: TAKE A SHOWER TAKE A SHOWER TAKE A SHOWER!

Mike's new gf is... so very very very familiar. Not because I've seen this episode before, but... she looks like an actress (or maybe is, eh), or someone I've met, or... I don't know. It's driving me crazy.

[---story change---]

Barbara wants to get rid of her husband's mistress.

Dee, the mistress.

Russel, the husband.

Russel has no teeth.

Jerry: We'll be back, widda cow. Stay with us.
((Um, I should have been paying more attention to that segment. Perhaps this would make sense.))

[---Q&A---]

A guy behind the guy who is currently asking a question is waving at the camera.

Audience guy: [to Jerry] First of all, where's the cow?

Audience guy: How ya doin', Jerry? Jerry: I'm fine, thanks for askin'.

Audience guy: [to Barbara] I got one word, five syllables. Yeranuglybitch.

Audience: WE LOVE JESUS WE LOVE JESUS WE LOVE JESUS!

[---Final Thought---]

"Take care of yourself, aaand eachother."

[---Dave & Mike walking down hall---]

Mike and his wife are gonna go home now.
Now this is cool. I searched "blue hair" on Google because my hair is currently blue, and got this result: http://www.bluehair.com They sell Springer merchandise. I want the Security Dept. mug...