Saturday, September 01, 2001

Just got the first weekly statistics update from the counter--

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Weekly Statistics For Previous Week
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The Jerry Springer Show Notes had a total of 811 visitors last week.

Visitors for last week divided per weekday:
2001-08-23: 103
2001-08-24: 133
2001-08-25: 92
2001-08-26: 109
2001-08-27: 114
2001-08-28: 134
2001-08-29: 126
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Very cool.

Friday, August 31, 2001

1073 hits! Yayayay! Thank you, all you people. Sign the guestbook, eh? I wanna know if you're coming here from searches or Entertainment Weekly or if you're regulars, or what...

I wish to complain about the cosmic forces: I found every August issue of EW, in a magazine store, *except* the one this blog should be listed in. Arg.
Just got a Springer update from my mom:

"You missed a good Springer. Someone sort of knocked Steve backward, and the audience chanted, Take it easy, Steve. Then Jerry had him sit down and two girls put a quilt over him and sat with him. Then he got up and Jerry gave him the microphone and Jerry sat down. Steve started doing Jerry's job. At one point he said, "This is easy." It was really funny."

Bah. Bah, I say. *I* wanna see Steve hosting!

Wednesday, August 29, 2001

Well, that was an interesting show to go out on. Today begins my two-week hiatus; I'm visiting a friend in Oregon and I don't even know if her FOX runs Springer... and I'll likely be too busy, anyway. I may, however, end up watching an episode or two, and if I do, I will take notes. I've been getting around 100 hits a day, it seems, and I don't want to disappoint anyone.

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JERRY JERRY JERRY...

"Bizarre Love Stories"

This guy's gf is cheating... he took the SpringerCam there.

Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! It's the scary half-person!! He freaks me out...

SpringerCam, the guy: He's in the bed with my girl, and he doesn't even have...

I hope Jerry asks why this guy's like that...

Sharon, the gf.

Chris, the guy.

Chris: He's like a walkin' end-table!

Kenny, the half-person.

WTH?? Jerry didn't ask why Kenny is like that! Does anyone know how someone can be half a person? Not just missing the legs, but missing part of the torso?

[---story change---]

Lance is tired of his lover.

Lance is a "reflexaphile"... he says he enjoys vomitting on his lovers during sex. The audience is repulsed.

Jerry: Have you sought psychiatric help?

Darla, his gf. She doesn't like this.

Jerry: Darla, welcome to the show... I can understand your delimna.

Lance: There is nothin' sick about it...

Neesie, the new gf.

Jerry: Your name is... is Neesie? Neesie: Neesie [beep; her name]. Jerry: What's wrong with you?

Jerry: [to the audience] What's the difference what I ask?

Lance just threw up on Neesie, then headed for the audience... we didn't get to see it (thank god), but the audience's reaction was priceless.

Audience: STUPID LOSERS STUPID LOSERS STUPID LOSERS!

Jerry: [to Neesie] This is ridiculous... and by the way, you look very nice. We'll be back. [signals for break]

[---story change---]

Taz says his gf doesn't know the meaning of love.

Christy, the gf.

He eats food off his new gf.

Jerry: If you've just joined us... this... this is weird.

Laurie, the new gf.

[---Q&A---]

Audience guy: Jerry for President, yeah!

Lance threw up again. Jimmy-the-security-guy ran away. Jerry: We've lost Jimmy. Audience: GO FIND JIMMY! GO FIND JIMMY! JIMMY ROCKS JIMMY ROCKS JIMMY ROCKS! [Jimmy comes back.] Audience: JIMMY JIMMY JIMMY JIMMY!

Promo: A guy: I may be a freak, but I'm a freak with your woman!

[---Final Thought---]

"Take care of yourself, aaand eachother."

[---Dave walking down hall with Kenny---]

Kenny says walking on his hands doesn't hurt.

Aaarg! Dave didn't ask why Kenny's like that!

Sunday, August 26, 2001

Oh, yay. A guestbook entry:) Hallo, Jennifer.

JERRY JERRY JERRY...

Whoa, Jerry's wearing a bright blue shirt.

"My Fiancee's a Cheater"

Tim's gf is cheating.

Tim: ...but today I'm here on your show, and I know that can't be good...

I declare that Tim isn't allowed to be named Tim.

Tim: The only people I see get married on your show is midgets. Jerry: Well, how tall are you?

SpringerCam, the gf yelling at Tim's cousin to stop coming to her club

::laughs at a Miss Cleo commercial:: "His dysfunction from his family when he was a child was extreme."

Mike, the cousin.

Nicole, the gf. She's too pretty to be on Springer.

There's a guy with an eyepatch, in the audience!

Tim says poh-leece. I love that.

Nicole: [to Mike] You. Stay. Away!

Jerry: You told the poh-leece to go away?

Jerry: I don't wanna stand too close...

[---story change---]

Anthony's gf is cheating on him with his friend.

Anthony has yet to make a grammatical error; is he a true Springer guest?

SpringerCam, in a subway; there are three panels on the wall that say "it's?.", "...", and "It's".

Whoa, someone in the audience has a Madonna piercing. Or is that Medusa? The upper-lip/cheek beautymark piercing.

Walter, the new guy. He has cool hair.

Walter: If you kiss this girl's *ear* her legs fly open! Jerry: Why don't you try that, Todd?

Walter: She's like a bitch in heat, tryin' to have her puppies under someone else's porch!

[---Q&A---]

Tim: I did cheat on her, it was a one time thing, it was an accident. ((Me: What?? Where'd you mean to put it? Her purse?)) Jerry: It was an accident? What, did you trip?

Pregnant audience chick: This is for Steve, I want you to rub my belly while I rub your head. [So he does.] Jerry: [standing with an audience guy] Uh, Steve, if you'd just rub his belly-- The guy: I don'play dat.

While I turned away to type "[---Final Thought---]", Jann reported that they showed a closeup of the guy with the eyepatch.

[---Final Thought---]

"Take care of yourself, aaand eachother."

[---Tim walking down hall with Nicole, Steve walking behind them---]