"Confessions of Betrayal"
Jerry: Our guests today say they're very naughty...
Monica threw her brother out of her house.
Monica's brother has been sleeping with her gf.
The brother is living in a car in a junkyard.
The brother: [to the audience] Shut up!! Audience: YOU SHUT UP YOU SHUT UP YOU SHUT UP!
Jerry: Why're you living in a car? Why not get an apartment? Or a trailer? Audience: WE LOVE TRAILERS WE LOVE TRAILERS WE LOVE TRAILERS!
Guest security guy, Jeff. He pitches for the Detroit Tigers, I think Jerry said. Jerry tried to make him sit down. Audience: WE WANT JEFF WE WANT JEFF!
Audience: GIVE JEFF A KISS!
Lisa let a bitch move into her house.
The bitch is sleeping with Lisa's husband.
Jerry: People get very depressed, lookin' at me.
Terri, the bitch. Robby, the husband/bf.
Lisa cursed, Jerry looked at her and said, 'Language.'
Tony is tired of trying to balance two lovers at the same time.
He's leaving his gf for a man.
He wants to keep them both:p
Tony: Nobody knows how to please a man except a man. Jerry: Ohhh... I don't think that's right... I think I'm right... maybe I'm being fooled...
Jerry: Wait a second. [leans down to talk to Jeff] Do you think he's a pitcher or a catcher? Jeff: Definitely a catcher. Audience: JEFF JEFF JEFF JEFF JEFF! Tony: I'm on top!
The gf: What can't I do for you? I don't have [beep; dick]? Tony: No, as a matter of fact, you don't.
Audience: [to Tony's bf] GIVE JEFF A KISS GIVE JEFF A KISS GIVE JEFF A KISS!! Jeff: [freaks out and gets the guy to go the other end of the stage] Audience: THREESOME WITH JEFF THREESOME WITH JEFF THREESOME WITH JEFF! Jeff: [puts his fingers in his ears]
Nikki's bf is cheating.
Sean, the bf.
Nikki: [calmly] Are you sleepin' around? Sean: [even more calm] Yeah, I am.
Uh-oh, the new gf is angry.
Nikki: You're a dog, man. Audience: [barks insanely]
---Ah! Meet Jerry says that he was five when he moved to the US... that explains the lack of an accent.---
Audience chick gave Jeff a hug. Audience: JEFF'S A LESBIAN JEFF'S A LESBIAN JEFF'S A LESBIAN!
Audience: [to Monica's brother] GO BUY A TRAILER GO BUY A TRAILER GO BUY A TRAILER!
An audience guy is saying "y'all two"... that sounds funny. Him: Y'all don't make love, two fat people make slop...
Another audience chick gave Jeff a guy. Audience: GIVE JEFF A LAPDANCE GIVE JEFF A LAPDANCE! Tony's bf: I'll do it! I'll do it! [goes round and attempts to give Jeff a lapdance, but Jeff stands up and shoves him away]
Jerry: Jeff, if you ever need a second job after pitching, we'd love to have you do security.
"Till next time take care of yourself, and eachother."
Jeff says breaking up fights on the Jerry Springer Show is harder than pitching for the Tigers.
Steve: That blue guy who was involved in a homosexual affair seemed pretty interested in you, is there any chance you two might hook up? Jeff: Zero chance whatsoever.